As I spoke about in last months’ column, kids connect best with you when you, the parent, are actually enjoying themselves as much as they are. I have two boys and through coaching all of their sports, we have developed a bond greater than I could have hoped. You don’t actually have to be the head coach. You can be the assistant or the score keeper and the snack mom. Just being at the field and supporting the kids and learning what to do from the coaches to help the child do better for the next game will show enough interest to bond. Children are very perceptive and are far more aware of your involvement than you think. Having the parents, if possible, at the field as often as possible will create a good sense of family unity even if the parents are divorced. Those are some of the best memories I have as a kid. I have coached 16 seasons of sports so far and always get emotional when a kid performs well and the first thing they do is to turn around to the stands to see if their family saw it, like clockwork. My 8 year old actually started his own blog called AJs’ World of Sports where he documents his sports achievements.
Another great way to connect is through their school. This needs to be done sooner than later because the teenagers may not be too thrilled with mom or dad being around their friends. I try and volunteer in the lunch room, clinic and field trips pretty regularly. The way my boys’ faces light up when they come in for lunch and I am there is priceless. They are actually that I am there and show me off to their friends. Like I said the teenagers may sing a different song. It is also a great way to stay connected for parents who are divorced and don’t have the kids for a week at a time. That is my situation and the boys never go to two days without seeing me because of either coaching or school activities. I think because of the involvement in the kids’ lives at an early age, you can get and stay connected as the children get older and keep those lines of communication as open as possible.
As seen in the Coral Springs Lifestyle magazine.